[REMINDER: John Lewis Writing Grants now OPEN (deadline: Oct. 1, 2022)]
For a long time, I thought I was terrible at writing dialogue. I’m not terrible at talking, or listening (usually), but conveying on a page how people speak, with their subtexts, their physical quirks (how often did your grandmother dig through her purse while she was talking to you?), and their “ums” and “ahs” froze my fingers at the keyboard.
Dialogue, in prose, can’t be an exact representation of human conversation. Small talk, which does nothing in real life but fill time, does nothing on the page but fill space. Same with those “ums” and “ahs.” Prose dialogue has to perform a different kind of work than dialogue in real life.
Dialogue is, by definition, spoken communication between two or more characters, although a character can sign dialogue if they are Deaf, or pass notes or signals if they are in a situation where they can’t speak. In any of these situations in a novel, you’ll need to write their communication.
But what does dialogue do for a plot? Taking a tip from screenwriters, dialogue has to do the following:
Move the plot forward. Here’s an example from “The Prettiest Star,” by Carter Sickels, in which the protagonist, Brian, and his mother interact. His mother speaks first.
My body feels like it’s going to crack open. With fear or love, I don’t know. “I’m glad you’re home,” I say.
“So sweet,” he says. “The tea.”
“Too much?”
“No, not too much. The corners of his mouth turn up into the smile that I know. He’s the same person, he must be. The boy I raised, the baby who grew inside me. “I’m glad I’m here, too.”
We look at each other with anticipation. The phone’s shrill ring shatters the moment. “It’ll be your grandma,” I say. “She’s been calling all morning.” [1]
The plot moves forward in these few lines of dialogue because the mother is anxious, the son is accommodating her, and they are about to respond to the grandmother. While the interaction about the tea might seem like small talk, here it is an exchange about the familiarity of home and the mother’s attempts to make Brian comfortable.
Inform the reader of backstory. In Sam Starnes’s novel “Fall Line,” Mrs. McNulty and Deputy Elmer Blizzard discuss an impending change to their rural Georgia community. Mrs. McNulty speaks first:
“You think that dam is really gonna fill up the land, like they say it is?”
Elmer spat again. Her hydrangeas were getting wet.
“Aw… hell naw,” he said. “I don’t think those damn fools know what they’re doing.” Elmer spat one more time. “You think it’s gonna take, this big lake here?”
“I don’t know, Elmer. [T]he first I heard about it a few years back, it didn’t make a dadgum bit of sense to me. [T]hen last year, they came around with a five-hundred-dollar check and court papers.” [2]
Here, one character casually informs another about how she first heard about the arrival of the dam project. Note, too, that Starnes uses vernacular speech like “gonna” and “dadgum,” intermittently, just enough so we can “hear” her way of speech.
Convey character relationships. Therese Anne Fowler’s “Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald” depicts this interaction between Zelda, Scott, and a Mr. Ellis.
“Darling,” Scott said, opening his cigarette case, then snapping it shut, “I can’t believe it, but I’m out. Would you ring for some while I finish up with Mr. Ellis?”
“Sorry” I said, surprised that he’d interrupted me.
“Cigarettes. And something for you, Ellis?”
“If they’ve got a ham sandwich. I missed lunch —”…
[I] felt their eyes on me as I crossed the room. As I opened the door, I heard Scott saying, “These flapper girls, they’re like racehorses.” I slammed the door closed behind me. To hell with them, I thought. Let them find someone else to play fetch.”[3]
While Fowler never says so in exposition, we can read in the dialogue that Scott bullies Zelda here, and that she is angry but doesn’t confront him directly.
You’ll notice in each of these examples that the authors use dialogue tags sparingly. A dialogue tag is simply “he said,” or “she said,” or “they said,” depending on the appropriate pronoun. It’s advisable to avoid overusing verbs like “laughed,” or “exclaimed” or “sobbed” in dialogue tags. A physical description of the speaker as they speak does that same work more effectively.
Where does dialogue come from when, like me, you are afraid that your imagination will fail you? My high school writing teacher, Pat Conroy (yes, that Pat Conroy) gave an assignment that I’ve never forgotten, and that I teach now.
Go somewhere and listen. Ride MARTA and listen. Listen in line at a concert or sporting event or the grocery store. Listen in a waiting room, a restaurant, wherever you are. Hear how people speak, the way they converse, the sometimes strange or heartfelt or mean-spirited things they say to one another. And then let your imagination do the rest.
Here are five tips to help that imagination along:
1. Check your dialogue to make sure it connects with at least one of the screenplay rules; moves the plot forward, gives the reader backstory, or conveys character relationships.
2. What physical behavior supports or adds conflict to what’s being said? If a character is lying, do they look the other person straight in the eye, or do they fidget and look away? If a character is laughing, are they open-mouthed with joy, or hiding behind their hand?
3. Read your dialogue aloud. Can you tell the characters apart, or are they all paced the same way? Who speaks quickly, or slowly? Who is more formal, and who uses more slang? Does a child use adult vocabulary, and if so, why?
4. Try eliminating some dialogue tags if you use them in every exchange. If you don’t use them at all, add a few. Make sure the reader understands who’s speaking.
5. If your scene takes place in the past, what terms and phrases were in use at the time? What terms or phrases hadn’t been invented yet? Be true to your character’s place and time.
This month’s writing prompt. Next time you’re in a public place, listen to the conversations around you. Don’t write them down or repeat them into a voice recorder, merely listen and notice how the speakers behave physically as they interact. (This includes how someone yells into their mobile phone.) Yes, I’m asking you to eavesdrop. If a conversation makes you uncomfortable, tune it out and listen to someone else. No need to memorize what you’re hearing. You are learning to hear spoken word flow, emotion, and language use. You will easily remember a phrase or interaction if it excites your imagination.
Later, jot down what you remember, or send it to yourself as digital or voice message. Developing that sense of how people speak is the first step in feeling confident about writing dialogue.
[1] Sickels, Carter. The Prettiest Star. Hub City Press. 2020
[2] Starnes, Joe Samuel. Fall Line. New South Books. 2011.
[3] Fowler, Therese Ann. Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald. St. Martins/Griffin. 2013.